Saturday, January 28, 2012

Violence

I choose Violence. I remember when I was younger, my aunt's fiancee had his two nieces move in with us temporarily until family services came and took them and place them in a foster home. Their mother was jailed for child abuse. The two girls who were older than me were placed in foster homes. I remember coming home from school and crying because they were gone. Eventually, their mother married and had another child. She never got custody back of the girls. Then she went to prison for killing the last child she had. She hung the two year od on a door knob by his suspenders and beat him with a belt buckle. The child died from wounds received during that beating.

I am not sure how they coped with being in foster care. However, I knew when they came to stay with us, they were always sad and crying. My aunt tried to do things with them to cheer them up but they were extrmely sad.

Many Asia children refugees have experienced events related to war or persecution that may affect their mental and physical health long after the events have occurred. While in their countries of origin refugee children may have experienced:
  • violence (as witnesses, victims, and perpetrators)
  • war
  • lack of food, water, and shelter
  • physical injuries, infections, and diseases
  • torture
  • forced labor
  • sexual assault
  • lack of medical care
  • loss of loved ones

3 comments:

  1. Hi Shavonne,
    Your post was so sad it made me want to cry. It's so sad when children are faced with so much violence at such a young age. I have worked with so many children over the years that have come from homes filled with violence, and as a result a lot of them were in foster care or living with relatives, usually grandparents. Another thing has always saddened me is that children today are so accustomed to either one of their parents or even both of them being in and out of prison. Currently in my center we have a family who in the past we have had three of their older children attend our center, and now presently we have a brother and sister attending school. And I have frequent conversations with the four-year old girl when I go into the classroom, and I'm always saddened after our conversations. Most of the time her and her brothers and sisters (All seven of them) are usually back and forth between their grandparents because their parents are in and out of jail. Usually it's their father whose usually in jail, but on many occasions mom has also been in jail, and at least on three different occasions I can remember they both were in jail at the same time. I think the one thing that makes me so said, is just how use the children are to their parents being in and out of jail, it has become their norm, as well as the violence at home. Thank-you for the post and the reminder of just how prevalent violence is in our society today, and how unfortunately the innocent victims are almost always the children.

    Sylvia

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  2. Shavonne,
    Your post was heart touching. There is so much abuse, so much that we never find out about. There are children who are afraid to tell fear that they will be taken away from their family. It is so true that there are so many parents in and out of jail. I find so many children that talk about their parents being in jail as thought they were on vacation or just living in another town. I had a 13 year old young man say to me that his dad was in jail and his biggest fear was that he was going to grow up and be just like his father. I asked him why did he feel like that. He said people were always telling he was just like his father and since he had the same name as his father he fears growing up and beoing incarcerated. Thany you for your post thanks for sharing.

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  3. I was very upset when reading your post, a very sad story. We have had enough violence in the world already, and some children can't even get away from violence at home. Family and parents are supposed to bring warmth, care and love to the little ones, not harm and violence.

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The Birth of my first son!

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
I chose to write about the birth of my first son, who was born preterm at 19 wks and passed away. I chose this birth to write about because it was the most tramautic and most memorable. I also chose this birth because after reading the chapters and sections I think it is important to be knowledgable about your body and to keep up with appointments and take proper test and procedures to ensure that your baby is born full term and healthy. Five days before going into labor, I felt really bad and had an inkling that something was wrong. The physician that I was using at the time had an office in my town but was only there on Thursdays for appt. This was a Friday afternoon and if I wanted to see her I would have to drive over sixty miles to her next office. So, i gnored the signs and went on thinking that I was ok. On Wednesday morning, I woke up with slight stomach cramps. Took a shower, got dressed for work, and daughter off to daycare. Stopped by my Mother in laws house and when I got inside I had to sit down, the pain had gotten progressively worse. Still I continued on to work and and worked through the morning with the pain getting getting worse. Then I went to the restroom and noticed a bloody show. I had a coworker take me to the local er where I had to got through an hour long ultrasound of the baby and my cervix. My baby looked great and I found out I was having a boy!!!! How exciting, that is just what me and hubby wanted since we already had a daughter togther and he has an older daughter from a previous relationship. This was perfect. Now, all they had to do was stop these cramps so I could get home to inform my husband of the picture perfect family we were going to have! Well after waiting hours for a dr, to come in and see my I was delivered the horrible news!! His words exactly was "you are going to lose this baby". He said it with no sympathy at all. I immediately started crying and askign why. He stated that I had developed an infection. My cervix had already dialted to 5 cm, the blood I saw earlier was my mucus plug and when he checked me, the water bag was coming through my cervix. I pleaded with him to do anything to help save my baby. He stated that if the bag would go up some, he could stitch my cervix closed but he couldn't do that with the bag protruding out of the cervix. So I waited nervously overnight, laying basically upside down in the hospital bed hoping that this would help the bag to go back up and at least give him a little room to stitch me up. The next day he came to check me again and told me that there was nothing else he could do. I had developed an infection from having my cervix opened for so long and that if I didnt deliver the baby I would die. I felt like dying right there. This just couldnt be. I was 19 wks pregnant, certainly I could hang in there three more wks. But he said no. I called my normal dr's office and they called a major medical university located near their office who has one of the best neonatal hospitals in the world. However, they wouldnt even accept me since I wasnt at least 21 wks and due to the fact that I had the infection. So I had to accept that I was going to lose my baby boy. The nurse came into to give me something to break my water and everything just seemed like a blur. I was told that I didnt need an epidural since the baby was less than a pound. However, after hollering and screaming in pain from the emotional and physical stress, they gave me an epidural. Even with the epidural, this was the most painful and emotional births of my three births. Even with the epidural I could feel every single thing, I was in a lot of pain but dont know if it was really physical pain or the emotional and mental pain that was causing me to be in pain. Jackson Reed Hemingway was born on July 23, 2008 at 12:18pm. I decided that I didnt want to see him but having to be sedated after the birth, when I calmed down, I wanted to see my baby. I was able to see him and hold him. The hospital provided me with pics and foot prints. Me and my husband decided not to have a memorial for him. Instead, we mourned privately. Although Jackson did not live, I know that if he had, he would have had tremendous health issues to battle. Pre-term babies literally have to fight for their lifes. I would have wanted him to live. However, when I think of all the pain and issues that would have plagued him the first couple of months of his life, I would never want to see my child suffer. His development would have been slowed but learning from this weeks resources on growth and development it is not to say that he wouldnt have grown up to be a healthy baby boy.